thems fightn' words cont.

ok a result from one of those freaky quiz things

Introspective Sensitive Reflective
You come to grips more frequently and thoroughly with yourself and your environment than do most people. You detest superficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. But your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you require. You do not mind being alone for extended periods of time; you rarely become bored.


how freaky is that?

thems fightin' words

lately due to extreme bordom i have been doin internet quizs (yay) along with playing silly comp games...dont ask...yes so back to the point and in every quiz i do or wateva it really does reflect me lol its hilarious...i did this wats ur pokemon name...and mine was something beginning with L but it said dietry requirments it said ur diet mainly consists of coffee lol i thought that was pretty freakin funny coz it suits me amazingly well seeing as all u do to get ur pokemon name is enter ur name lol...

then i did wats ur pirate name...fitting seeing as National Talk Like a Pirate day was a week ago... neways i cant remember wat that name was either but it said ur a fighter no-one had better double cross u and it said ur a fighter not a lover...i thought that was pretty fitting as well lol seein as im always gettin myself into fights not always physical ones, but yeah, i think it really represented me...

i think at times im too smart and observant for my own good but its funny as soon as i get angry i forget everything except my yrs of self defence, but yeah i think that at times i sound like a real git coz i start spouting prophetic statements around...like last nite someone asked me something and my answer was the toughest problems r the ones we have to answer our selves...got how much more tosserish can i be lol...

well i dont know wat to say now im grasping at straws... so im goin to post a poem...
its kinda depressing but its ok

Picture
I saw you dancing with the angels,

Over and over the laughter and the joy,

It made me want to join you,

But just as slowly as your waltz,

You faded out of my mind.

All is still but still I can hear,

That continual laughter and taunting,

Sorrow and fear flood my mind,

As the laughter turns to a ringing in my ears,

I twist and turn trying to escape from this frame,

Only to find within me this,

My will to join you once again,

To make my way to you,

And inturn, away from me.

morgans written a couple but i wont post them becoz they rnt mine to show and explain

Its Elizabeths fault

Elizabeth told me to make defenistration my word of the month seeins as im always using it hehehe so the word of CJs month is:

DEFENISTRATION - the punishment of being thrown out a window

but becoz im strange iv also got a word of the week which is:

ASSUMPTION - Taking something for granted, believing something to be true without proof

so on with the story of strangness will go... neways grr im annoyed coz dad promised that we would be going to Mt Gambier today...dont know y i believed him in the first place...oh well its just annoying coz then i just coulda gotten out of the house without goin somewhere familiar and boring...like into geelong dont get me wrong g-hole is nice and all but im just bored of it at the moment and i dont want to catch up with neone coz i kow ill just get shitty with them neways

importantly urgent newsflash

RICKY IS DEPRESSED...hes mopping becoz the love of his very short life (James) has left and he cant find him...this is bad...i havent seen him this upset in ages...nothing i do can cheer him up does neone have ne suggestions? i thought about defenistrating james but he has to be here for me to do that...gah...

Boyfriend

that got ur attention didnt it....but no its not my boyfriend hes my sisters... well neways my sister and james (bf) ((obviously)) have come home for a week...which is pretty good but yeah neways mum and i went and got them on sunday nite from the airport and we just sat and spoke for a while that was good then we went to bed...(james is sleeping in the dinning room lol)...then on monday we went to melbourne pretty good we go there intime for lunch so we went to the blue train yummm emma and i shared the nuber 10 pizza and james had the blue train burger... we were more interested in the TVs in the bathrooms lol... then we went for a walk then caught a tram...then met mum for a coffee...then we went to the royal Melbourne show...unfortunately emma wasnt really well so (she told later and then he told me) that she was glad that james and i get along so well so that we could chat because she wasnt really in the mood too... so yeah but neways i feel sorry for james he gets picked on by emma she beats him and calls him names...but he takes it lol they really suit each other tho they give eachother as much as they get...they r cute together tho in a geeky IB way lol...but yes all u seymour girls iv been quizing him on all of the PAC boys so now i know who is date worthy and whos not lol...strange thing tho Ricky loves james absolutely loves him like as soon as james sat down ricky was on his lap everynite ill get up to get a drink ricky sprints out of my room and straight on to james's bed how bazaar...coz normally he doesnt warm to guys...but yeah so the whole family likes james and hes a really nice guy lol hes easy to talk to about things...lol and hes not worried about things like yesterday i walked out of the bathroom just in a towel and he was walking past and he just said oh good morning i just shrugged and said it back then yesterday he was running around in his briefs for some reason my response of course was good morning lol...lol so yeah hes a good guy plus he let me teach him how to play stick cricket...

Twiggy stix and Powerade

wat a nutritional breakfast it was...twiggy stix for all of u that dont know are salami sticks just smaller like...

ah...im on holidays i can put my feet up and relax...or not...well today is the first day of hols becoz we finished yesterday (obviously for this to truely be the first day of hols...) so yes first day and i woke up at 7am and thought wat the hell am i doing waking up now go back to sleep cj...but no i couldnt go back to sleep now could i (mumbles violently in backgound) ((can mumbles be violent??? wat a strange thought))(((neways)))((((hehehe love brackets))))
yes so i got out of bed at 8...i had good reason to be lying in bed for so long instead of just being a bundle of energy and bounding out of bed...i was tired my head hurts... and so i finally got up mum and dad left for the doctors to get a blood test done they then came back as they could have breakfast after breakfast they preceeded to go to work and leave Mr Fluff and i alone in the house...so wat did i do...wat ne other teenager would do...watch the end of the bambaloo tree then go on the internet and here i am some several hours later...i have gotten off the internet a couple of times to do things like take a fone call to bring the bins inside and no no that was it...mmm...so yeah chatted to a couple of ppl on msn...Chantal, Amber, Tom (breifly) and iv played heaps and heaps of stick cricket (i own their asses)...yes neways so that has been about the extent of my day...

yesterday was a slightly more interesting day...not very interesting but yeah so they put all of classes in before lunch so its like our normal wednessday time table so that we could have senior skool assemble that afternoon and clean up and watch the Lorne 160 runners come in...
but yes so i got to skool to find out that Bianca decided not to come because she was sick then i went to the first 3 classes of the day which were english, IT, and Philosophy so i gave myself double IT and philosophy...wats the point in goin to English we r just watching a video neways...but i had to goto philosophy coz we had an exam...(grrr) we had an exam becoz we had double philospohy with recess inthe middle so yes i finished the exam in the first class so did morgan, bryce and parko and mitch had disappeard so we couldnt hand in the exam and get a spare...
with 20 mins left of class morgan gets up and leaves didnt say where he was goin...2 mins later mitch goes in and tells me to find him so i had to sprint from my classroom to the house...(ok distances for u guys at seymour thats almost the same distance as from the music centre to the tennis courts) and then after not finding morgan had to sprint back to the class room by this point it had started to pour down with raini told mitch that i couldnt find him and he advised me to continue to find morgan...so i sprinted to the computer labs in the rain in just my shirt and kilt no jumper (my class room to the comp room is the same distance again) so i got soaked found morgan told him that mitch was pissed with him so morgan sprinted to the bathrooms and the plan was that i was to say that i couldnt find him...so then i had to sprint back to the class room...i was completely drenched wen i got back there and everyone just started to laugh so hard at me because i was so wet....then 1 minutes later morgan walked in and explained tha he had been in the bathroom...mitch laughed at me and told me to sit on the heater...he later came up to me and hit me on the arm and continued to laugh...i then had classics nothing exciting there then i had legal but after 15 mins my teacher didnt show up so my whole class left...then i played a couple of games of pool...then we had senior skool assembly pretty boring but morgan had to give a speech because he is the captain of debating it was so funny ill try and get a copy of his speech so that i can post it on here...

then i came home sat on the internet spoke to sez...then had dinner got told some bad news and went to bed early...then spoke to carmi on the fone for a little while....

yeah so thats been my last 2 days...pretty boring but funny for me...

P.O.C.J.W

its officially P.O.C.J.W or pick on CJ week...at first i though nah it cant be i mean a comment or 2 nothing much nothing major but as the week progressed i realised that it was more then just a mere fad...so know this week shall forever be known as P.O.C.J.W, dont get me wrong there have been compliments at the same time but never the less all i seem to be getting this week is abuse...and ppl telling me how to do things i mean normally i wouldnt mind but its beeen far more then just one or two ppl thats for sure so its slightly annoying me...but meh i mean yeah good things have happened this week like turner...but then there have been bad things like the explanation and other all incomburson things... i had an exam today but i also had a spare and 4 IT lessons so all up thats 5 spare like classes out of 6 and the exam wasnt even hard...but for tomorrow im screwed because i have a philosophy exam...so stuffed oh well im sure ill pull something out...but mitch had a go at me today...i wanted to cry but then hayze was really supportive of em so that made up for it i spose...i lost every game of pool except for one...and yeah i mean i had fun with the guys but i feel a bit like a slut but..i guess that how it is sometimes...but yeah Mrs Jenkins walked in just then (Mrs Jenkins being Morgans mum)((shes a teacher at ggs)) and she read out loud ah CJs rantings u shoulda just called in whinging...meh maybe shes write maybe not but meh...

Geelong grammar was on accurant affair tonight lol that was funny half the house was in there having a go at the morons on the TV who were all like oh public skools need more help financial but all of its going to privilaged skools like geelong grammar i mean WTF of course we r a privilaged skool they only pay $120 a year compared to geelong grammar were its nearer to the $20,000 a year mark...geez wat do they expect and we dont get heaps and heaps of money they showed this graph saying well the government gives the private skools more money wat they neglected to mention was the fact that there are more private skools with more students in them so of course we r going to get a bit of a bigger budget compared to the public skools...i dont have ne problems with public skools so dont get me wrong i just hate the hype with the media about the rivalry and all that crap coz if theres rivalry i havent noticed it...not to the extent that they reckon its happening at...bastards...neways id better go before i blow a fuse

bananas

im in the computing room at skool with turner and allen...and we were discussing wat i should write and after several disagreed topics turner came up with Bananas...well wat can u say about bananas...well actually i can think about alot to say with bananas but none of it is very nice or appropriate for this website...ill let ur minds run wild...or not...well neways bananas...mmm...lol...lol...yes there are two there but meh...now we r talkin about pink...i wont finish this sentence...but meh neways i hope u guys r all having fun and remember bananas are cool to have........crazy and dirty thoughts...eww and bruised banana...mmm oh ok...

link

link not as in the missing link (plus i think that its spelt with a 'y') neways im watching the second matrix now yay! but yeah and there is a character called Link and i just realised who he is! he is the guy that plays mercutio in romeo and juliet and also the guy in lost...but yeah hes a good character...my favourite character tho is tank even tho he dies in the first episode he is the best the him and his brother doser...i love it...well im turning over a new leaf is a good way to say it well im goin to try to!

Matrix

im watching the matrix...the first one tho i think but its still good its the fight seen in the train station neo versus agent smith...its an awesome movie for special effects..quote" im going to enjoy watching u die mr anderson" tis a good garphics movie plus i like the stylised violence in it! and the fact that keanu reaves is getting his ass kicked and yet he keeps fighting..silly boy...oh well its interesting to watch atleast....i know iv seen the second...and i know iv seen the third one but i dont rmember it...mmm...maybe i havent seen it after all...but i think i have! proximity warning time yaya

approaching hols

yay the holidays are almost here...which is good because that means i get 3 weeks worth of relaxation to catch up on my missed sleep and tv programs...i might go out and catch up with a couple of ppl but as i ssay thats only a might at this stage...the strange thing is im really not looking forward to the hols that much i guess its probably coz iv had so much time off this term i havent really done nething to deserve the hols...lol wat a strange proposition...lol neways so im at home again today and im chating away to stringle...love that boy...hes a brit....funny as...
neways yeah so hols thats wat i was talkin about...mmm i guess they r goin to be okay! emma and james are coming down for 4 days...i wont really get to see them much but its the idea that they r home i spose...for thos of u that dont know emma is my sister and James is her long term boyfriend also by the family he is known as Squishy (off of finding nemo) so yeah hes actually a really good guy and i think that emma has done well to find him and hes lucky he found emma! but so yeah i dont mind it wen he comes over and or wateva but then i have always just been comfortable around guys more so then girls and james is no exception so yeah...im excited that they r coming over but it seems so surreal at the same time actually everything for me right now is surreal...i think i need more sleep or reviver tablets yay

only translate if u really wanna know wat it says

its up to u whether or not u translated that but mainly i just had to write it...i had to get it off of my chest i had to let u know only if u wanted to know tho...so please really i do read if u want its not nice but its the new reality...


so far this term iv been stuck at home unable to do nething because of suffering such unbearable lows that are pretty much unstopable...i know u all think that im strong but im not im not the persone uthink i am im weak im nothing...iv been sitting in a dark room since yesterday trying to find the courage to leave the security of the familiar darkness...this chatroom iv been goin to its a great website but i let someone down when they needed a friend the moment wen they needed someone to sit there and tell them that they should keep goin but wat do i do i just sat there a agreed with them...y did i do this y did i try and stop them u might ask well the answer to that is simply because it thought that it would be hypocritical of me to say other wise...i have made my apologies to chantal but nothing will take away this deep seeded guilt that overwhelms me now which stops me from getting out of bed in the morning which keeps these tears constantly flowing...im sorry i never meant those things i should never have said them i know it was wrong...my selfishness obstructed me from helping someone...someone who was in need...someone who was crying out for help...im no strong person i am a coward and a monster...as i type this the tears stream from my eyes...my head races with confussion and my blood fuses with this hatred and anger...

CHANTAL

ok so this is an apology post to Chantal...i said some really mean things and it was really hypocritical of me i admitt that but im worried about u and i know that wat ur doin could be potentially dangerous but if thats wat u want fine then go for it...my conscience is eating away at me for wat i said it was really uncalled for im so sorry...theres no excuse for that...

so im sorry i really am

Heartbeat

this post has absolutely nothing to do with heartbeat i just couldnt think of nething to use as a title! so now that im back from my sick spell i realise that...i shoulda had more time off...but neways imback now so alls well enuf for the time being!

ok u know the theory that everyone one has an identical twin on the other side of the earth? well i think that i believe that this is true and i know that me being a philosopher i should believe in hypothesis untill there is evidence that it is right but shmeh stuff it i think that its true coz i think that iv met mine in the chatroom thing...good website (thanks chantal)..but yes we r so alike its kinda freaky at times but its pretty funny most of our convos just consist of giggles and lols so yeah its very interesting i dont know her name but i call her ADP great girl (but then i could be biast) but yeah shes really nice and really interesting to talk to! isnt it funny how the ppl in this chatroom dont know me but they feel happy enuf to just open up and bare all! its insane but its great! dont u agree chantal? but yeah ummm so iv mande a couple of friends like inluv hes a bit annoying but hes really nice deep down once u get to know him! i dont know if he has a little crush on me lol i dont think so but it would be funny if he did!
i know that chantal has mentioned a couple of ppl from this chatroom on her blog but they r all really nice ppl some r dick heads at time and dont take other ppl into consideration...

and u feel really bad wen u upset someone without meaning too...i havent dont that yet but iv seen other ppl do it...yeah that website brings u back down to reality i must admit...

but yes so ill give u the brief rundown on wats been goin on...
last week (2 weeks ago) just mopped about in my own world apologised to a few ppl for my behaviour and then mopped even more...
and this last week i was ok on monday really good like hyper high...
tuesday i got really down and ended up getting a huge hug from my IT teacher who then sat me down in his study and just let me talk about wats been goin on and then he told me wats been goin on with him and how u just have to keep goin...so then he went and taught and i sat in his office for 3 hrs listening to his music and chatting to chantal...then morgan (wonder boy morgan) came into the room and i burst into tears and he just looked at me apologeticly then hayze(IT teacher made him leave) then i sat on the comp the rest of the arvo!
umm wednessday was alright because it was only half a day of classes...then a pretty much free arvo...umm bianca cracked it with me (lol how ironic) then everything just went back to sulking...
thursday i had 3 SACs which took 4 out of 6 lessons...so i was really edgy that day! umm then i saw Cici that nite (middle skool friend) really nice girl funny as hell and she treats me like a friend...so say her and she gave me a hug...
then friday i had 2 SACs fought with a priest and sat on the comp half the day then played pool for 2 hrs straight...which was god practice even tho the yr 12 guys wanted turner to strip if he lost to me but i tol them that id already seen it so it didnt matter...(no nothing like that u dirty ppl hes done daks b4 so if a guy looses they have to ((depending on how many balls they lost buy)) run around without pants on) so yeah...umm then i had to apologise to turner and that was hard...trying to get the friendship back...
and then today lol i got in shit coz i went thro a red light and i played chicken with a car...
mmm yes neways later ppl

bak again

well iv had a bit of a break but now im back and i want u all to know it...but yeah so say hello or wateva if u wanna chat u know how to get a hold of me! ttu tonight elizabeth